Like so many others I stepped off the train in Kandy feeling both elevated from the breathtaking views along the ride but also relieved to get off the train, grab some food, refill my water and perhaps most excitingly to use a clean toilet after seven hours on the same train. I looked forward to exploring Kandy, with its beautiful mountains surrounding the city and its most famous attraction, the Sri Dalada Maligawa Buddhist Temple, as well as the classic tourist trap, the Kandyan dance show. I did it all, even if my excitement, and, let’s be honest, a bit of nervousness, had me longing for my next destination, Nilambe Buddhist Meditation Center.
Located about an hour south of Kandy by car (or about 1,5 hours by tuktuk), the silent retreat and meditation center had accepted me for a five-day, 4-night stay. I knew the accommodation would be very basic with limited electricity, no charging of devices and complete silence throughout the retreat in order to focus on inner experiences, presence and mind. When I woke up in the morning in Kandy, I felt excited but nervous, unsure of what to expect or how I would handle
the challenge ahead.
Getting there
I had read that getting there could be difficult, and that was no lie. It took me three attempts until I found a driver willing to take me. The first two simply said it was impossible to reach the center and refused. The drive was pleasant until the final three kilometers, with a steep road zig-zagging up the hillside, uneven ground and thickening jungle as we climbed higher. I was expecting the driver to stop at any minute and refuse to continue, and I had already accepted that I might have to walk the last stretch. But the driver and his tuktuk powered on, getting me all the way to the meditation center.
Upon arrival, we checked in and were assigned rooms in either the male or female quarters, located on opposite ends of the compound. In between were the kitchen, main shrine room, yoga studio, and garden. We were given the schedule for the coming days and an information booklet explaining what to expect from each session and the reasoning behind them.
The rooms were basic: a well-worn mattress on a cement block, a small wooden table and chair, a single electric light, and a few hangers. The only window was in the door, and we were advised to keep it closed to avoid being robbed by monkeys.
The program
Each morning we were woken by the gong just before 5am. We were expected to be seated in the main meditation hall at 5am, after navigating the garden in the dark with our headlamps. We began with an hour of meditation, followed by a short silent tea break.
At 6:30 am we had a movement session, which was Thai-chi inspired yoga led by one of the other attendees, before our breakfast at 7:30am. Between 8:30-09:30 we had “working meditation” which meant doing chores around the center slowly and mindfully, for example, gardening, sweeping, cleaning the showers or toilets, maintaining the facilities.
At 9:30 am we had our second guided meditation of the day, one of the longer sessions. It was usually including seated meditation followed by standing meditation, walking meditation and another round of seated meditation. I’m not going to lie, I did struggle to stay awake during the longer sessions and I was grateful when it was time to stand or walk. The session ended with a small talk from our Dharma teacher, who spoke about challenges we might face
in daily life as well as on our meditation journey. A Dharma teacher is a Buddhist leader that guides its followers in meditation.
Lunch was served at noon and in the kitchen a sign read, “silence opens space for the mind” which stayed with me. After lunch we had a break until 2 pm when I either slept or wrote down reflections from my experience. Then we had solo walking meditation, basically strolling around the garden and appreciating the surroundings.
At one point I stood on the terrace outside the kitchen overlooking the garden, observing my surroundings. Watching the others walk slowly and mindfully in their flowy white clothes with their heads bowed. With the large locked gate to my right and the almost surreal calmness around me, I couldn’t help but wonder whether I was in a meditation center or an asylum straight out of a movie.
The day was far from over and at 2:30 pm we did an hour self-guided meditation, followed by a tea break and some more chores. There were no directions or expectations on what chores to complete but it was up to you to decide what you felt needed to be done. Our first afternoon session of the day ran between 4:30-5:30 pm, followed by a small evening snack.
At 6:45pm we had a chanting session, something I had never experienced before, but which became one of my favorite parts of the retreat. We sat in front of the altar, and those who were Buddhist paid their respects. The chanting was followed by the final guided meditation of the day, which finished around 8 p.m.
After that came the only time we were allowed to speak, a short discussion for questions related to our experiences or meditation practice. I won’t lie, some days I wanted the group discussions would be brief so I could go to bed. It surprised me how tired I felt from living at such a slow pace. It was definitely a contrast to my normal big-city life.
My experience
At first, I thought that the silence would be challenging, but it turned out to be peaceful and nice. Without conversation, the sounds of nature became vivid, monkeys running across the roofs, birds chirping in the trees, and allowing me to observe new things in my surroundings.
I was surprised that even after four days in this fairly small center, I continued to discovered new things while walking around in the garden. It made me reflect on how much beauty I am miss in daily life, simple because I am not present in the moment. That is something that I am trying to keep with me after leaving the retreat. I wore my smart watch throughout the stay and at one point I received a notification that my resting heart rate had dropped significantly. It wasn’t just a feeling of being calmer, there was a physical effect as well. During walking meditation, as soon as I took those slow, short steps, focusing in the ground beneath my feet, I felt a sense of calm spread through me. The thoughts spinning in my mind suddenly stopped, and I was just there – in the moment.
I noticed myself throughout the sessions doing what I am so used to doing back home, comparing myself and my achievements to those around me. I felt defeated at times because it looked so easy for everyone else to remain mindful and ignore the thoughts that came at them or even to be able to stay awake! But it shifted one evening when we had a new monk join us. During the last meditation session of the day, he didn’t just fall asleep, he snored,
loudly. I might have drifted off mid-meditation a few times myself, but at least I didn’t snore louder than the birds outside. It was then that I realized that I had made up a story in my head about everyone else being more experienced or “better” at meditating, instead of recognizing that we were all on our own individual journey, each facing doubts and challenges during our shared days of silence. It also helped when two of the other women
gently whispered to me after a challenging session that they had noticed me struggling and had experiences similar challenges. That small moment meant a lot and confirmed that we indeed had more in common than the silence allowed between us.
For me, a novice meditator who had never attended a silent retreat, the experience was intense, challenging but also deeply motivating. It opened my mind not just to myself and my needs, but also to what meditation can be. Yes, it can be traditional seated meditation with eyes closed in a quiet place. But it can also be found in everyday moments, walking standing, being in nature or even in the middle of a city. It’s slowing down, letting go of worries, “must do’s” and “should-so’s” and turning into the here and now.
This kind of retreat isn’t for everyone, but after this experience I genuinely believe that meditation is for everyone, in whatever form you decide to embrace it.
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